The Top 5 Worst Horror Films of 2018
While we love showering praise on the best horror films, there’s also a human tendency to kick others while they’re down.
Here at Gayly Dreadful, we don’t really like doing that. But the heart wants what the heart wants and no End of the Year celebration can go by without discussing the worst.
And so, we celebrated the best, now let’s trash the rest. This is the definitive list of the absolute worst in horror this year. A list so objective that you can’t argue with it. A list of horror movies so bad that will make you ask:
“Is that even a horror film?”
Three Identical Strangers
Everyone knows twin kids are scary. But what about triplets? Maybe there's something about having that third kid that just ruins the horror. I guess what I'm saying is that Three Identical Strangers should have only been about twins. I know it's a documentary. But couldn't they have edited it down a bit? Throw in a jump scare or two?
Actually the story is a little odd. Actually it's kind of frightening. Actually, what the story morphs into is a stunningly real look at some truly terrifying things our society has done. Maybe this should be considered An American Horror Story. It's pretty damn great and I think you should watch it. If only they'd gone with twins, instead.
Who knew that Bo Burnham could make a film that put me, a thirty eight year old, back in the throes of adolescence. That I could watch in wonder and horror and joy and terror as a young preteen played flawlessly by Elsie Fisher navigates the tricky world of middle school.
Trying to be yourself while also trying to be just like everyone else. Being sort of socially awkward. Dealing with adolescent hormones and rejection. That first kiss. Doing something you know you shouldn’t be doing, but not wanting to be laughed at.
You know what? This shouldn’t be on this list. Nothing is scarier than middle school.
Sorry to Bother You
“Stick to the script,” they say. When life throws everything at you, don’t leave the path that others have provided you. And when that path goes straight into a horrific science-fiction parable about our current culture, then don’t look at the insanity happening around you. Just stick to that script.
Sorta like how I’m trying to stick to the script that this is a worst of year list. Can I just mention that I think worst of lists are stupid. Getting a movie made is hell and I can promise you that while human nature wants to kick a movie when it’s down, there are far worse movies floating around there than are on your list.
There’s so many great ideas floating around in this audacious movie that it’s a surprise it even got greenlit. It’s the birth of a fantastic new voice and I can’t wait to see what Boots Riley does next.
I don’t think Alfonso Cuarón has made a bad movie. From the sexy and progressive take on college sex farces in Y Tu Mamá También to the best adaptation of Harry Potter to Gravity, his films are full of humor, horror and the mundane. Roma seems to be his most personal story, shot in stark black and white, with a widescreen presentation that gives a monumental scope to even the most mundane moments.
It’s epic and intimate. Quiet and bombastic. I’ve heard some people say it’s boring or that it’s not his best work and, while I’m not one to doubt someone’s personal taste, I gotta disagree. This is masterful filmmaking that basks in the great and small portions of life.
Oh, right. Um. It’s not…a good horror movie…am I still trying to do this?
Call Me By Your Name
I know. I know. You’re going to say, "But Terry, Call Me By Your Name isn't even........a movie released this year." And I’m going to slink over and place my finger over your lips and say, “shhhhhh.” I’ll tell you most places outside the West and East coast didn't have a chance to see it until 2018 so go find a peach.
That aside, this is truly the worst horror movie ever. You would think that for THE Luca Guadagnino, who created one of the best horror movies of the year, having a second hit would have been assured. But no. Call Me By Your Name isn't scary.
Outside of it reducing me to a pile of blubbering, gasping cries of sorrow so deep I didn't think I'd ever crawl out, I don't think it's even a horror movie. Like WTF Luca?